Forgiven Not Forgotten

Somebody hurt you, it is too painful to bear, you even curse him/her. Can you forgive easily? Can you just walk away with the pain or bring it with you? Who do you hate the most? The doing or the doer? Hate is such a heavy word, rage, anger or whatever you call it. The pain that inflicts a person cripples her without her noticing it. But how can you let it go? Let the pain slip away especially if the one who hurts you is one of the most important person in your life and your family as well. Somebody whom you trust wholeheartedly.

On my own experience, every time I see the person who hurt me (can't even accept the fact that somebody hurt me, Pride!) I try as much as possible to ignore her, avoid her, treat her as a mere wallflower but I know that is wrong. I have read a lot of articles and even watch Oprah show about this topic. They said that bearing the hate, having it in your heart is the worst thing you can do to yourself because you are repeating every scene, the conflict between the two of you. The person had already forgot what she did to you, while you are still living on it which is the worst that you can do to yourself.

Hate would tear yourself apart in the process and if you are planning to get back on him, forget it, you'll just get hurt more in the process. Learn to let go, harder than it seems but that is the only way to live. Religion, especially Catholicism taught us that forgiving others is the essential part of living. Because God, the Almighty himself can forgive us no matter how big our sins are, how much more we to others. God does not just give people to you who are loving but also the people you will have difficulty loving, because from them, your strength will be tested, the capacity and the limitations of your love, even your own character.

Forgive the things that they did and try to realize what made them do that to you, maybe you are letting them, maybe they are not respecting you because you don't respect yourself too. Remember, the way you treat yourself might be the same way others will treat you. M. Gandhi once quoted " When people cause us difficulty, we can learn to see that they have difficulties in their own lives--and they are from ignorance or weakness," I have learn to live by this since then. Love yourself above all these pain, so in the end, the one who sleep at night without all the guilt is YOU!